My dog is cuter than your boyfriend.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"No, but I broke a nail crawling out of Hell."
team i can’t do math but i can write a 3 page english paper in less than an hour
BREAKING NEWS!! DOGS IN PAJAMAS I REPEAT, DOGS!! IN. PAJAMAS!!
U WNANA FUKCINGN GO?? ????? grab an icecream together or something because u are attractive
cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?
me: sure do! 8:15
cute girl on the street: thanks
me: so what are we?